Other Authors 2
| After receiving the quote on my insurance yesterday I was chatting with some of the insurance agents about the Hummer since I was their first Internet and Hummer owner to be insured by them. One of the agents asked me which model I had. He said the small or the large one. Keeping a straight face I replied the small one. When I stopped by today to have the pictures taken for the insurance he took one look at it and said how big is the large model. I jokingly said "Oh, It's too big to take on road." I did finally tell him the truth.
Glenn Carbone <gcarb7@ix.netcom.com>
|
Â
10. You don't have to add a lift kit to go off-roading.
9. If your a quiet person it will give you something to talk about.
8. It makes you feel good when other people are excited about it too.
7. It's cool.
6. Fun to sit in.
5. drives over curbs.
4. Makes getting rear ended something else to talk about.
3. You get to be an HML member with a hummer.
2. 1 word "accessorize"
1. You get to meet other Hummer owners.
Glenn Carbone <gcarb7@ix.netcom.com>
|
| A while back someone asked for posts about "stupid bystander questions". Well, this is a conversation I had the other day while I was at the pump fueling my pride and joy: A woman came out of the Conoco store in Monument, Colorado while I was outside at the pump... "I've never seen anything like that! What is it? What does something like that cost?" I had intended to reply "A Hummer, they start around $60,000 new" but all I was able to get out was "A Hummer..." when she got a look of disgust on her face and yelled "In your dreams, asshole!" She stormed back into the Conoco store, grabbed her husband/boyfriend (I guess) and started talking to him and pointing my way. I saw him look out the window at me, get a big smile on his face and say something back to her. I assume he explained to her that a Hummer is a vehicle....not a blowjob.
Kevin Beebe <Kevin.Beebe@mci.com>
|
| I have been tring to get personal plates for my beast but am having a hell of a time with the DMV. I tried HUMN8R Terminator and Hummer together. (its an Arnold thing) I get a letter back saying it can't be used. So I call them up and ask why I can't have the personal plate I requested. They said someone already had it. Me being the cop that I am checked and the plate is not used. so I call back again and tell them who I am and what I do for a living and explain that I know the plate is not in use. they then tell me that I can't have it because it might offend someone, I tell the lady that I have been offending people all my life and why would I stop now. She goes into this big deal about how she is looking out for the interest of others. I ask her to speak to the supervisor and I be damed if she was the high and mighty. I told her I wanted a second opion. so now I have not two but three supervisors on the phone. and I asked them all what the problem was, one finally asked "you really don't know do you" and I asked know what. she blurted out that that it says HUMN means sexual stimulation for a male and 8R is just the opposite. (I am keeping this clean I have been yelled at in the past) She said this without skipping a beat and was very descriptive. I told her that now I had to have the plate. she said no way no how the other two were getting into it now (no not what your thinking) so I decided to play alittle(you have to know me to understand, I'm sick) I say how about HUM4ME they then replied "are you crazy" I then said HUMRMAN they asked if I was gay. she told me that they have a book that has every possible combination of the things that were not permitted. I told them that they were dirty old ladys for thinking of these things. and they laughed so hard I think one of them pee'ed on herself. I told them that I have never tried a 900 number but after speaking to the three of them I might give it a shot. I thanked them for the entertainment and would call back soon. and hung up.
Rick in Vegas <radiver@skylink.net>
|
 Â
| PRRM (Primate Runflat Removal Method)
1. Visit your local Zoo and proceed directly to the primate cage. Carefully study the technique of that big guy in the back jumping on the tire swing... (starting to get the idea?)
2. Return to your garage. ENSURE no one in the area has any video recording devices.
3. Yank the bead lock out of the tire (this shouldn't be too difficult).
4. Liberally apply WD40 to the inside of the tire bead and the outer surface of the runflat (any place you anticipate tire to runflat contact).
5. Attach the 12' chain to a solid point above (I used a 2x6 layed across the rafters to distribute the weight).
6. Route the chain's other end through the runflat (still inside the tire) and draw up the slack such that the entire tire is pulled up off the floor about a foot. Then attach the chain to the runflat somewhat tightly and at a single point (I attached the chain to itself with a threaded splicing link). If the tire is too high it will spin around alot, so play with the height to find the optimal height.
7. Visualize the big primate and start making Tim Allen sounds. Reach up high on the chain with both hands and quickly pull yourself up and let you feet down on the tire (one on each side). Trying to balance yourself (You should be wearing your cup at this point, and scanning for National Enquirer photographers, or Eddie Runner, with his digital camera). After you spin around and slip off several times you'll get the idea (if you have difficulty "become one with the ape"... feel your roots).
8. Using a sort of lunging/jumping action pull your weight up on the chain and lung down on the tire. Shortly you'll pop the chain end of the run- flat out of the tire. Another few jumps and you'll have more than half of the runflat out of the tire at which point you can just pull it the rest of the way out. I had all four runflats out in about 15-20 minutes and I only weigh 165lbs, your mileage may vary...
Keri & Lucy
|
Jim Lynch wrote:
> I think what they were trying to say was if the failure was due
>to abuse it wasn't covered. I'm sure they never intended their
>response to come off like it did.
How would you ABUSE a transfer case?
shift it to 4HL?
shift it to 4LL?
hit it with a hammer?
try to pull a 600ton train up a hill??
call it a dirty name??
the only part you would normally be able to touch would be the shift lever, how would you abuse it??? What could you possibly do to abuse it ??? the service writer tried that ABUSE stuff when my transfer case broke! I didnt get it! AMG didnt agree with him either, it was under warranty....
Eddie Runner <eddie@installer.com>
|
|
|
